How to stay connected to husband?

how can I stay connected to my husband of a year. we are currently going through adoption process, adopting our first child together out. extremly stressful and heartbreaking but safer for the baby. he has 3 kids prior to me and i have 1 prior to him. so this one will be 5th and we are not financially where we want to be to have another child at this point. we both have shut down but for me its normal i was quiet and kept to myself even when he and i met. he was out going and talkative. now i feel we are so far apart and its depressing me more and more. how could i get him to come back around to me? im only 23 and hes only 27.